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After Kirkwall- Not just a nightmare by Cocoz42 After Kirkwall- Not just a nightmare by Cocoz42
I suffered severe PTSD from this game...my plan is to draw three pieces of these...hopefully I can finish them.
It seems that I need to state my intention of this piece. Of course I understand many people don't like Anders at all, so they won't be upset about the ending. I did this painting because I like him for who he was, and feel sad and angry for who he is...Call me Mary Sue, I did get hurt by how the story went, and I can't do anything to change it or prevent it. It's sad that the situation forced you to make the calls. When every answer is killing him in the end, I can't do it, this is the only difference I can make in this game. 
However I think not killing Anders is selfish somehow. I can't image how somebody keeps living with that guilt and with his love loves him from mercy... It seems hopeless. Maybe letting him die is  more mercy. I can't decide for him.
I want a way out from this PTSD the game give me, and yes, it's ridiculous to be so serious about it. This painting is step one of getting better, that's all I need to state.

Second one has been finished today, check here【nude/sex content alert】darth-coco.deviantart.com/art/…
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:icontamarandom:
Tamarandom Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Just came across this, it's really great! Poor Anders... 
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:iconcocoz42:
Cocoz42 Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:) Thanks for the comment
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:iconmirre-kala:
Mirre-Kala Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
First things first, about the piece, it's very emotional, the poses, especially Anders' pose,are... they just work unimaginably well. As does the scenery. I see a really great balance of feeling and technique in this. I love the barren landscape and how it seems a tiny bit less real than the characters... Don't know if it's intentional or not, but works for me. Not really anything bad to say about it, but I had to say my compliments at least. :)

I just finished the game a month ago and I'm glad to see I'm not the only one deeply affected by the ending. Or, well, many are, but... It made me think a lot, it's not every or every other story that dares to even go where DA2 went with Anders. He gave a face to terrorism and desperate people who do desperate, unforgivable acts, not out of some impulse of evil but for human reasons, when all else has been tried and failed. Not that this is the only truth about terrorism but it is one. I was very emotionally tangled with the momeent but I couldn't kill him either out of mercy or wrath. People who do unforgivable things trusting they won't live to see the full effect deserve a life. His life is probably constant hell afterwards, but living it and perhaps trying to do some good with the rest of it is the closest thing to both punishment and salvation he could get. My Hawke stayed with him also. And a great saga of head canon was born...
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:iconcocoz42:
Cocoz42 Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you for the comment. So glad that you like my work.
I want to make this into a 3 or 4 piece set, only half been finished.

Your comment brings me back to DA2 again, which is not an entirely happy mood. However, that's why DA2 is a great video game.
Reply
:iconmirre-kala:
Mirre-Kala Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You're welcome. I'm curous to see the rest - I looked up the other piece you linked here, but I take it the others are still unfinished?

Yes, it's not a feel-good game... And I'm kind of still shaken and feel a need to discuss it with anyone who will humor me. I think it'll stay with me for a while yet.
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:iconcocoz42:
Cocoz42 Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I hope I can finish them soon. :)

I know what you felt after DA2, I have been there, you'll get through.
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:iconkatrina81:
katrina81 Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2015
Lots of emotions and feelings... Perfect!
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:iconcocoz42:
Cocoz42 Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks a lot :)
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:iconlunarkis:
LunarKiS Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2015
Truly amazing. I usually only like Anders/M!Hawke fan art. But I can really appreciate the emotions in this one. I killed Anders in my first play-through because I had no other choice. But I could never do that again. In my other play through, I'd always romance him and choose to run away with him.
Reply
:iconcocoz42:
Cocoz42 Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Male or female, always loves him and runs with him, but with a broken heart. Thanks for the comment~
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:iconcandice77400:
Candice77400 Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Emotions are Amazing !!! Hiyori Surprised Icon 
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:iconcocoz42:
Cocoz42 Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you~ and happy new year.
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:iconcandice77400:
Candice77400 Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome ! happy new year too ^^
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:iconchenria:
Chenria Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
This is truly an emotional and stunning piece!
Great work!
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:iconcocoz42:
Cocoz42 Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you very much.
Reply
:iconmihoshi5:
Mihoshi5 Featured By Owner Oct 11, 2014
Amazing art :la:
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:iconcocoz42:
Cocoz42 Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you very much :)
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:iconmihoshi5:
Mihoshi5 Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2014
You're welcome :aww:
Reply
:iconbeautiful-doubt:
Beautiful-Doubt Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I feel the same. Anders is always what I choose. <3
I have played this game 10 times and i still ugh. I can't kill him. He just wanted to help and he became this tormented abomination...He can't even drink anymore :( I wish there was an actual way to separate him and justice...
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:iconcocoz42:
Cocoz42 Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks a lot. I would like to play Awaken resent
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:iconbeautiful-doubt:
Beautiful-Doubt Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
the DAO DLC? Awakening?
Anders was a bit loftier in it. he didnt have such a big burden and still in love with cats XD It never actually says that he lets justic inside him in awakening. thats something that happened after awakening and before 2.
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:iconstrawberryteddy:
StrawberryTeddy Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I absolutely love this, it's beautiful! Personally, I loved the development of his character and how much taking in Justice changed him. I also completely condone and agree with his choices in DA2, to be completely honest. War was inevitable. Sure, Elthina died, but she was in no way innocent in my eyes;the Templars are just a military branch of the chantry and she did nothing to stop oppression while she was in an influential position. And, those who condone oppression are just as bad as the oppressors- she was too complacent. This piece is beautiful, absolutely love it!
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:iconsabresedge:
sabresedge Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2014
Took the words out of my mouth. I have problems siding with the Templars. And a war was going to happen. Elthina was one of the casualties. And apathy is just as bad. She could have done something! Even if it wasn't huge sweeping gestures but she did nothing! Pointedly. All throughout origins and awakening I was thinking that mages were severely mistreated. And I was hoping that something would happen to provoke change and take the chantry and Templars power away. I really don't like the chantry and templars. It isn't the religion that I don't like it is the control and power and army, ARMY that they lure over people. Anyway enough ranting


And this is from the wikia said "Jennifer Hepler describes the choice of keeping Anders alive as "poetic justice", as he would have to face and suffer the knowledge of the lives he took. She also states her belief that he wishes death so that the people whom he killed receive justice as well."
dragonage.wikia.com/wiki/Ander…
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:iconstrawberryteddy:
StrawberryTeddy Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I agree! Elthina could have done anything, and neutrality when there is a power imbalance is not true neutrality-it's choosing the side of those in power. I can't stand the Chantry. I don't really like the templars, but there is also the problem that they literally start indoctrinating some templars when they are children, and the Chantry holding a monopoly on lyrium trade doesn't allow templars to speak out against their superiors because they'll go "insane" without it. It's just a really, really shitty situation for all those involved, and while mages get bullet, the gun really recoils hard, especially on nonandrastians. Taking the chantry out of a position of political power would be extremely beneficial for Thedas and since the war was going to happen no matter what, I believe Anders only sped the vote  that started the war up, and in the long term less lives would be negatively effected because of it.   

I wish I could say I'm surprised that Hepler said that first part. I really don't like her and her treatment of Anders. He and his romance,as she said, were written as rivalmance was the /one true path/. Which is really, really shitty considering the rivalmances themselves as a whole, are essentially glorified abuse.  Not to mention that Anders was written to represent mental illness, and the whole idea of a mercy killing rubs me so wrong at the thought, as a mentally ill person. And if you're his friend at the end of DA2 he is relieved that Hawke doesn't kill him, which makes a lot of sense considering he isn't being  belittled and ignored to the same extent as he is when rivalmanced.

There are a lot of things I could nitpick about Anders,his attitude toward Velanna,consistent probing of Fenris(which is so ironic since they're alike), or the way he treats Merril because of her blood magic, but personally his actions are not one of them.
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:iconsabresedge:
sabresedge Featured By Owner Edited Nov 20, 2014
i actually liked what helper said about him. Keeping him alive means he has to continue what he started and try to clean up the mess he made (whetherthe mess was needed or not).

Its the politics and power the chantry has that i don't like. Not the religion itselfs. I think they need a big reformation. ...Anyway.

I haven't seen or read anything about the core being rivalmance or the mental illness. So I don't know anything there.

Personally mine was a friendmance. And I kept my hawk and anders together.

I am injoying playing Inquisition at the moment.
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:iconstrawberryteddy:
StrawberryTeddy Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Yeaaap, Anders started it and he should take part in dealing with it. I can't imagine doing something like he did and then not seeing through to the end it just seems... out of character. Not  becoming some martyr instead of witnessing the consequences of one's actions.
  
And yes, Anders and Justice were written to represent Bipolar disorder/Manic depression. If I recall correctly, Hepler herself said it.

You're a lucky duck, I'm still waiting on my da:i copy to arrive! D: G'luck
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:iconcocoz42:
Cocoz42 Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you very much. :)
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:iconioana-muresan:
Ioana-Muresan Featured By Owner May 31, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
A good game or a good story, is that one that manages to make you cry and suffer at the end.
Playing this game gave me depression, that lasted very shortly.  god damn it anders...

i dose feel like in this game you don't have so many options like in the original 
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:iconcocoz42:
Cocoz42 Featured By Owner May 31, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you for the comment, and let's wait for Inquisition.
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:iconazuremosquito:
AzureMosquito Featured By Owner May 31, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Oh god this is so powerful and beautiful. I love Anders so much and I constantly struggle with the emotions over who he used to be and what he became. Thank you for making this beautiful piece of art.
Reply
:iconcocoz42:
Cocoz42 Featured By Owner May 31, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:] Thank you very much. I'm afraid that I can't love anyone else in Dragon Age world.
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:iconebenbrooks:
ebenbrooks Featured By Owner May 14, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
I got to really liking Anders in Dragon Age: Awakening. And Justice, too. I ... really didn't like what they did with them in II. It made sense that Anders would try to help Justice in that way, but it didn't really make sense that Justice would be so corrupted by it. I'm conflicted, though, because two of my good friends were working as writers at BioWare at the time, and ... I think one of them may have been responsible. I've never asked, 'cause part of me doesn't want to know.
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:iconcocoz42:
Cocoz42 Featured By Owner May 14, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Well...I don't want to know either...What's done is done...
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:icondaraeldin:
Daraeldin Featured By Owner May 13, 2014
I can't bring myself to kill him. It is, as you say, kinda selfish, though. He clearly wants it. I don't think he could handle it for much longer after that. 
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:iconcocoz42:
Cocoz42 Featured By Owner May 13, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
After all, he is soft in his heart...
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:icondaraeldin:
Daraeldin Featured By Owner May 13, 2014
Oh, don't tell me that. Awakening Anders was an okay character to me, but I never felt very connected. DA II Anders gives me all sorts of feelings. 

I love the colouring, btw. I got so distracted by the note that I ignored how beautiful and touching the pic was. 
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:icondragonmystique:
DragonMystique Featured By Owner May 13, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I think the emotions shown in this is remarkable. I will admit, I adored Anders the way he was in Awakenings, and I was sad to see him struggling internally with the spirit while Wynne had it easier with hers. Despite that struggle though, in my first run I did romance Anders, and as torn and shocked as I was at what he did, I didn't have it in me to kill him. He needs help, support from someone who can love him and Hawke can do that I think. I would like to see a path of redemption for Anders because he's not a bad man, he's just a troubled one who suffered too much abuse in the circle by templars who weren't kept in check by their commanding officers.

Sadly, that's the way of the real world. Good people in society are abused and it snaps something in them that makes them do reckless and foolish things. Its sad, and consequences should be had, but mercy is what keeps us humane. :D
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:iconcocoz42:
Cocoz42 Featured By Owner May 13, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the comment, :)
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:iconnorroendyrd:
NorroenDyrd Featured By Owner May 12, 2014
This is amazingly drawn!
Anders' expression is rendered perfectly, and the wind really adds up to the eomtions of the piece! :w00t:
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:iconcocoz42:
Cocoz42 Featured By Owner May 12, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks a lot~
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:iconnorroendyrd:
NorroenDyrd Featured By Owner May 13, 2014
You are welcome! I hope you do more Dragon Age fan art! :w00t:
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:iconfendersfan:
FendersFAN Featured By Owner May 12, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I will always love Anders. I will never approve of his choices, but I could never hate him. Joining with Justice and turning into Vengaence changed him forever and I can only hope that Bioware decides to create the possibility to help him get rid of the spirit so we can get back our old Anders back.
Reply
:iconcocoz42:
Cocoz42 Featured By Owner May 12, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Let's hope so. However, if it was in real life, if my love one had changed, the only thing I could do with this situation is take it or leave it...There is no getting back. That's one thing the game wants to deliver I suppose. It's so sad that Hawke can't stop him...or getting good old Anders back. While, this is also a reason why mages must be treated fairly, to stop these kinds of things happen again...poor Anders T~T. He is my only one in Dragon Age...
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:iconfendersfan:
FendersFAN Featured By Owner May 14, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Guess you're right. And for good or bad should stay with the one you love.
Anders is in my top 3 favorite characters from the whole DA series.
I hope we get to see him again the future games.
Reply
:iconcocoz42:
Cocoz42 Featured By Owner May 14, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
What if he suffered same fate as Mordin or Thane in Mass Effect 3...don't want to see that happens...I'd rather never see him again.
Reply
:iconfendersfan:
FendersFAN Featured By Owner May 15, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Spoilers!! Lol haven't played Mass Effect yet! XD

But don't worry, Iĺl forget what you wrote hahaha. 

I want to believe he will play an important part in the future... and that we'll be able to save him no matter what :)
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:iconcocoz42:
Cocoz42 Featured By Owner May 15, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
That's the spirit!
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:iconalyssacousland:
alyssacousland Featured By Owner May 12, 2014
I still love Anders, though. No matter what. :( 
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:iconcocoz42:
Cocoz42 Featured By Owner May 12, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Me too, and it seems your Hawke is just like mine~
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:icongalagraphia:
Galagraphia Featured By Owner May 12, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Oh, this is lovely and sad. And I know how you feel. But I still think it's better to let Anders live. While you live, there is still hope. For something. Maybe Hawke will find a way to separate Anders from Justice. Maybe she will find a way to calm the Vengeance, and Anders will live at peace with his spirit, like Wynne did. There is always hope that he will change again. For better this time. :)
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